Okay, I'm not one to require you, my beloved readers of happiness, to do too much work to enjoy the fruits of Joe-Mammy.com, but this one is going bounce you around a bit.

First off, you need to download this track and have it play in the background.

Got it? Good. Step two you need to check this out:
The full story is available here, but here's a redacted version:

DALLAS -- A teacher is on paid administrative leave after sending a first-grader home with feces in his backpack because the boy went to the bathroom on the classroom floor.

The teacher apparently was frustrated with the 6-year-old student's actions so wrapped up the waste and sent it home with the boy Tuesday along with a note, Dallas school district spokesman Donald Claxton said.

Now, perhaps this is why I shouldn't be a teacher, but I don't think this is so bad. Barring any serious emotional or mental problems, if little Johnny drops trou in my classroom and leaves a log, you bet your ass he's taking that home. Parents love putting stuff on the fridge that their kids make in school, right? Well bust out the magnets, cuz Junior's got a winner today. You can't tell me with a straight face that the little nose-wiper accidentally defecated in class... in the middle of the classroom... on the floor...

As much as I respect the audacity to show your displeasure with the system by sharing a bowel movement with the rest of your fellow man, there's a difference than, for example, me taking care of business to protest some thing or another--that's civil disobedience because I know I'm gonna get arrested and I don't care. But little Oliver DaFleur thinking that he doesn't like spelling one day and spreading the love, one loaf at a time--that's setting a precedence. I for one wouldn't want to get stuck behind him at McDonald's when he doesn't get the Happy Meal toy he wants.

Hey kiddo, words to live by:
Poop in the potty. Poop goes in the potty.

-Joe