Okay, I know, making fun of Britney Spears descent into the Michael Jackson sphere of pop star reality isn't much of a challenge. That being said, how can you not make a comment on her recent almost marriage to dancer boy? For the full story check out The Smoking Gun.

Now I can understand getting tired of messy prenuptial agreements and such. But the fact that negotiations have apparently stalled might indicate dancer boy might be looking for more than a lovely bride and eternal happiness. Yup, 'boy lookin' to get paid, yo.

Must be a rough gig. Sleep with Britney. Live with Britney. Leave Britney. Take Britney's money with you. Of course, I'm sure that his career as a background dancer is suffering immensely because of all the time he has to take out of his busy schedule to woo his fiance. That and I suppose he has to listen to her God-awful music. But does he really deserve compensation for it? I think when you ask to marry someone (especially if she buys the ring) you've pretty much released that party from bad-taste liability.

Note to Britney: while watching you publicly melt down has provided me no small degree of amusement (who needs satire when real life is funnier?) perhaps you should take a hint from the Spice Girls and go away for a while. Give your money to charity and move to Wyoming and get a job at a gas station or something. You know, figure out what it means to be a regular human being for a while. After reality has beaten you down and sucked your soul and will to live out of you like a stoner with a Big Gulp, you might be better equipped to handle the nefarious charms of background dancers.

More to the point, if it doesn't, I won't have to hear/read/see every ensuing chapter of your "Candide"-esque trip of naivete and disillusionment. That and you could sell me mid-grade gasoline and Icees. It's win-win.

-Joe