It's late.

At least late to be first waking up.

So it goes.

(Here's hoping Vonnegut doesn't start suing me...)

Finished a draft version of the album and now in the process of trying to figure out track order, spacing, crossfades and all sorts of related nonsense. Still have some rerecording and additional mixing that needs to be done, but not tonight. Tonight I'm thinking that I'm of going to see "Alfie" and overpaying for suspect popcorn and a Coke. Why? Because this is America and I'm free to eat horribly unhealthy movie theater crap when I darn well please. You think they can do that in Canada or Indonesia? That's why I live in the good ol' U.S. of A. Coronaries all around. Eat drink and be merry for eating, drinking and merriment will surely kill us sooner.

Anyway, not sure what else is up this weekend. Perhaps I shall harass poor Rex or Young Squire Josh, or even the unsuspecting Christophe der Soul Stealer. Perhaps I shall take pottery. It's a bit of toss up because while those folks are cool, I could always use a clumsily assembled mug or ashtray. Oh well.

I promised some impromptu fiction, but instead I'll include a brief, never-before-seen by the general populace snippet from "All Things Right and Beautiful," prepare your bladder for immediate release!

Vernon was checking out various local landmarks and museums. He really wasn't all that interested in visiting museums and landmarks, but that's what his family had always done for vacations. Vernon remembered as a boy going to a natural history museum with his father. His father was just standing there, staring at a wooly mammoth puffing on a Lucky Strike. Vernon stood next to him holding steadfastly to his blue helium balloon staring at the mammoth.

Vernon's father sighed and flicked the ash from the end of his cigarette. "You see son, that's called a mammoth. It's sorta like a big elephant mixed with a camel far as I can tell. They're all dead now. Probably just as well. If there were still mammoths around then zoos would just get them instead of elephants and camels.

"That's all fine and dandy until you figure there;d just be a bunch of elephants and camels wandering around with nowhere to go. And pretty soon they'd find a way to put cows and horses out of work by doing their work for a fraction of the cost. That would just create hostility and tension and then there'd be some sort of war and they'd all be dead and the mammoths would be left with some survivor's guilt complex. I really can't see a brighter tomorrow with a bunch of melancholy mammoths meandering and mulling around. Doesn't much matter, though. I'm sure your mother will tell you something different about the whole stinkin' mess anyway."

Vernon's father took a long drag off the cigarette and let out another sigh as he mumbled "Goddamn mammoths."

-Joe