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Ah, what a glorious time of year it is. And what glorious people about us. And what big teeth they have, grandmother. The better to floss with you, my dear...
Thursday, September 02, 2004
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| Uncharacteristic Post:: Joe | | 6:57 PM |
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I know here at Joe-Mammy.com I've often stayed away from substantive posts about politics, right and wrong and the myriad of things that make this world frustrating. Granted I make fun of a lot of stuff, (which is similar, but not quite the same...) but seldom sit down and do a "this is how it oughta be" kinda thing.
This is one of those posts. Bear with me.
This week is the GOP national convention. It's essentially a gloating party four years in the making. The odd thing is that the GOP seems to be like the 40 year-old dating a pretty 20 year-old. He's got what everyone wants, but desperately keeps trying to find out if everyone else thinks he's still cool, or just old with a soon-to-be-ex girlfriend. It's representative of where we are as a nation and as human beings, I think.
We don't want to step on toes--or more to the point we want to ensure no one will step on ours. Now instead of going about it in a high-road kind of way (like, doing unto others as we would want done to us...) we legislate, negotiate and build structures to try and keep people from saying things we don't like. Or if they do, we make sure that there's a supervisor, agency or lawyer around to make sure they pay whatever personal or commercial price we can extract. A pound of flesh. No more, no less.
Instead of actually talking to someone about what they say, we back-door it and run to tattle that someone hurt our oh-so-precious feelings. We do it, so we say, not because we were in the right, but that it might be misconstrued by someone not as level-headed as ourselves, or just reflects badly.
You know, the great thing about America is that people have the right to be as wrong and as ignorant as they like. There is no "lowest common denominator" that we are allowed to appeal to (at least in theory) and as moronic, wrong-headed or demonstrably false something is, I'm not going to try and change your mind if you don't want it changed. I'll make fun of you. I'll critique your argument. I'll tell others I think you're full of crap, but I won't go crying to your mom, your boss, your priest or anyone else to make you stop. If I want you to stop, I'll ask you to stop.
We like to fight without actually fighting. We show that we have no respect for others by the fact we don't dare face them and instead send ominous threats by proxy. I'm not perfect, but I like to think that if it comes down to it, if you piss me off I'll tell you... personally. I'm not scared of you. I'm not scared of much of anything, honestly. In "Animal Farm" George Orwell's allegory of the Bolshevik Revolution, there's a donkey named Benjamin who is ambivalent about the great moral crusade and progress of "Animal Farm." When prompted about why, his response is "Donkeys live a long time." That's more or less my stance: if you haven't seen all this before, you haven't been paying attention. Look at history, look at your own experience and use your head--there's nothing new under the sun, no matter how bad you think it is, there's been worse.
This was prompted by an individual I'll identify as A.B. (as well any number of things I see at work--which is a story for another time) who, in this case, took pot shots and then hid behind a larger structure/protocol. It's easier to say something and then hide behind something and say that they can't fire back, but in the end it's like picking a fight with Gandhi. Sure you can hit him. You can probably beat the crap out of him, but do you really feel like a man for beating down someone who you know isn't/can't fight back? Yeah, you show him, tough guy.
Which leads me into (hopefully) my only post about politics... ever. Those involved in politics whether you're Michael Moore, George W., Ralph Nader, or folks closer to home--you are all insane. This election has taken on a strange life of its own characterized by conflicting "moral crusades." It's us against them and God is on our side.
This idea of morally driven government was usually the stomping ground of the GOP who through around their traditionally based values (you know, like the corporation being treated like a person...) as an angry defiance of the soulless, Godless onslaught of anyone who wasn't them. It made them cartoonish and able to circle the wagons of people who would be otherwise horrified about, for instance, our brutal infant mortality rate or the continued disparity between the wages earned by women compared to men. Instead they got on the wagon of anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage and pro-"family values" (whatever that means, or would entail in enforcement is mercifully left out).
Now I've voted Republican in the past, and may again. Ultimately it's not because I think that they represent my moral interests but because historically they haven't been too interested in legislating good Samaritanism. I'm not a fan of additional mandated bureaucracy because its for my own good. I don't like being told what my own good is. Especially by someone who's never been to my state.
This year, however, the usual platforms for Democrats (health care, education, etc...) has been largely cast aside in favor of their own moral crusade. Hating George W Bush has taken a near-religious level of fervor by some because... well, in some cases, just because. Often the complaints are based on the standard "he lies, he doesn't care, he doesn't care when he lies" kind of political gripes. To which I'd only like to say Welcome to Real Politik.
Are we in denial that such Machiavellian schemes have been in operation since the dawn of time? Do we actually think that Bush is the only one who's done it, or that he's even the worst? More to the point, what planet are you from that would suggest that anyone else is going to be any better. It's a moral crusade that's solely descriptive while pretending to be prescriptive. The only answer is "get rid of Bush" although I haven't seen anyone state that any possible replacement is going to be any better.
If you've got Bush figured out, then here's my advice: don't be fooled any more. You might not like "business as usual" in Washington, but it's going to continue regardless of who's there. Donkeys live a long time.
So next time you're inclined to yell at someone for being "one of them" remember, the only person saying that they're one of "them" is you. It's easier to group folks in a pile than to actually think, "hey, there are people all over the spectrum and by grouping every last soul who doesn't agree with me into that other category makes me a Nazi." Yup, nothing like the happy roots of fascism jumping up inside your "progressive" world view, is there? Trust me, we've all been there. Next time you're looking to morally condemn someone for not agreeing with you (unless it's along the lines of disagreeing with "torturing babies is bad") take a deep breath and repeat after me:
Donkeys live a long time.
-Joe
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
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| And the wheel goes 'round...:: Joe | | 7:54 AM |
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Well another day down. Not exactly if I'm getting closer to something or just further away from something else. Interesting way to think about it, no?
And I'm listening to music on the ol' computer and the words "Poop in the potty, poop goes in the potty" are being repeated over and over. It's strangely cool. I just might post my remake of said track one of these days. But not today. Today is for sleeping.
And not to be a lackey for The Smoking Gun, but:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0831041_photostamps_1.html
Personalized stamps. What a wonderfully horrible idea. Although I'm tempted to make a special edition run of Joe Mammy stamps. In fact, let's do this right: what should be on the Joe-Mammy.com stamp? Let your voice be heard! May Democracy rule! Speak to me! The winning stamp design will be announced right here and for a nominal fee (ie, cost of the stamp) you can get a personalized Joe Mammy postcard with the stamp and a personal message from yours truly right on it.
Choose from:
 Cecil
 Devil Pup 1
 Devil Pup 2
 Joe hissownself
 Cute Joe
or Flying Baby (from the intro...)
Rock the Vote, kiddies, and remember, as much as it might seem silly, your vote counts... until we establish the Joe-Mammy.com electoral college.
-Joe
Sunday, August 29, 2004
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| Evil couriers, trademarks and international presidential politics.:: Joe | | 3:57 PM |
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Well, it's been one of those weekends. Cards swept the Pirates which is always nice, but other than that, well, let me just say this:
Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2
Yeah. I deserve your pity.
That and thanks to a certain freight carrier (*cough* DHL *cough*) who lied to me and screwed my entire day thanks to a non-existent package pick-up, my weekend has been totally thrown for a loop. So, no work done on any new tracks (although still have a couple in early stages and a couple more bouncing around in the old noodle...) and nothing on writing (although I'm starting to postulate another Parson Wheeler story... how terrible is that?) I think the first part of Softer, Shallow will probably be done this week and hopefully be on-line a week or so after that.
Let me just say that going through your own early work can be a deeply humbling experience. I never realized A) how mind-numbingly horrible my grasp of grammar was and B) what a total candy-ass my protagonist was. Needless to say I'm doing a lot of head-shaking and rewriting sentences as well as bulking her up a little bit so she's not just some noodling bimbo. But it's good. I still think it's an interesting enough idea to pursue (and if not, well, I guess you all will have to suffer along with me...) and hopefully this time around it'll be more fully rounded.
As for the next Feature, wish I knew what to tell you. I got the go-ahead a while back, sent the questions in and then... nothing. Don't know if/when I'm getting them back, but here's hoping--it should be a good time. We'll see later tonight what, if anything, gets done. I'm getting more and more tempted to do that Wheeler story as time goes by. It's always a little fun to let your inner horrible little old man run free a bit.
And in the news... or for what passes for news:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0827041_Paris_Hilton_1.html
I quote in part:
[W]e've now unfortunately learned that this dopey Paris Hilton not only is
seeking to trademark her name (so she can slap it on everything from footwear
and kitchen utensils to shot glasses and essential oils), but the 23-year-old
heirhead actually has her own logo.
Ok, let's look past the fact that the brilliant, funny, insightful and life changing book All Things Right and Beautiful has yet to find a publisher, while Paris' "memoirs" are set to be released sometime in the near future, a logo? A freaking logo? I guess if her, ahem, "video career" has shown anything it's that like most businesses, if you've got money she's, um, open. But this was stupid when Prince did it and the fact it's being done by an anorexic rich white girl whose resume, to date, solely includes her ability to barely land a GED and get fired from Fox Network sponsored jobs on her little television show takes it off the stupid chart and firmly into Michael Jackson loonball land.
Now, it gets better. Said logo is a little tiara with a "P" on it. Now I'm no reactionary, but if she can do that, I say we can bring back the guillotine in case she should happen to utter the phrase "let them eat cake." And then that brings us to the whole trademarking of the name. Maybe I don't travel in the right circles, but if I had even a roll of toilet paper with the "Paris Hilton" trademark on it I'd feel compelled to burn it on sheer principle. This is the same girl who "lost" her dog by having relatives dogsit the little beast and then forgot what she had done with it. We should skip all this trademark nonsense and seriously be concerned about Paris ever having children. "Ohmigosh, where's little Billy? Call the FBI! Little Billy is gone!" "Um, Paris, Billy is at summer camp this week." "Call the FBI! Billy's been kidnapped to summer camp!"
Yeah. I don't know why we all wouldn't want to sport stuff with "Paris Hilton" written on it. You see, stuff like this is why other countries hate us. When arguably is she chose to run (and certain constitutional difficulties were circumvented) she'd be the most viable third party candidate for president of this country. If you were French, would you feel better about us?
-Joe
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