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Heidy-ho!

Welcome to the part of the universe where I just go off and hope it sounds okay. It's like musical improvisation without music and free-form dance without the tights. Yes girls and gents, 'tis the Mammy-blog. Please keep your hands and arms inside the blog at all times and remember, please, please, no flash photography.

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Ah, what a glorious time of year it is. And what glorious people about us. And what big teeth they have, grandmother.

The better to floss with you, my dear...

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

I should stop doing long quotes of Dylan before I get sued...:: Joe 7:35 AM

Throw my ticket out the window,
Throw my suitcase out there, too,
Throw my troubles out the door,
I don't need them any more
'Cause tonight I'll be staying here with you.
I should have left this town this morning
But it was more than I could do.
Oh, your love comes on so strong
And I've waited all day long
For tonight when I'll be staying here with you.
Is it really any wonder
The love that a stranger might receive.
You cast your spell and I went under,
I find it so difficult to leave.
I can hear that whistle blowin',
I see that stationmaster, too,
If there's a poor boy on the street,
Then let him have my seat
'Cause tonight I'll be staying here with you.
Throw my ticket out the window,
Throw my suitcase out there, too,
Throw my troubles out the door,
I don't need them any more
'Cause tonight I'll be staying here with you.
-Bob

Gots to love the Bob. Happy pre-emptive Thanksgiving. A couple days "off" which means I'm busy doing things I'm not getting paid for--which seem to coincide with my sleep schedule being messed with. Whee.

Anyway, apparently in the long line of horrible "100 Greatest" film specials, they're doing the 100 Greatest film quotes. Among the horrid choices are:

Excellent!
--Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

Forget about it.
--Donnie Brasco

Mama says, “Stupid is as stupid does.”
--Forrest Gump

Show me the money!
--Jerry Maguire

Yo, Adrian!
--Rocky

I'm king of the world!
--Ti-freakin-tanic

Here are some from the list that are good... (keep in mind pretty much any Woody Allen or Marx Bros quote deserves to be listed, but for brevity's sake...)

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.
--Animal Crackers

Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
--Annie Hall

I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
--Apocolypse Now!

We're on a mission from God.
--The Blues Brothers

What we've got here is failure to communicate.
--Cool Hand Luke

Gort! Klaatu barada nikto!
--The Day the Earth Stood Still

Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker!
--Die Hard

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!
--Dr Strangelove (etc etc)

What an excellent day for an exorcism.
--The Exorcist

What is your major malfunction?
--Full Metal Jacket


Well, I've wrestled with reality for thirtyfive years, Doctor, and I’m happy to state I finally won out over it.
--Harvey

Can you dig it?
--Superfly

These go to eleven.
--This is Spinal Tap

Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave? Stop, Dave. I'm afraid.
--2001

And of course, the Joe-Mammy.com partial list of great quotes that apparently aren't good enough to be better than "I'm king of the world"... stupid list people...

Well hello Mr. Fancy pants. I got news for you, you ain't leadin' but two things right now: jack and shit. And jack left town.
--Army of Darkness

It's a penis stretcher. Would you like to try it?
--Real Genius

I've killed women and children. I've killed everything that walks or crawls at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you, Little Bill, for what you done to Ned.
--Unforgiven

Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the cunts, the dogs, the filth, the shit. Here is a man who stood up.
--Taxi Driver

...I am convinced that I can walk through walls. Not just me, anyone. Cops. People. People in Nashville...
--The Ninth Configuration

"Asshole!" (trust me, in context it's perfect...)
--Reservoir Dogs

Tis all for me...
-Joe


Monday, November 22, 2004

It's not an excuse, it's a story about why I lied...:: Joe 4:47 AM

Ok, I have to put this on here because it's about classic. Bono, meet George W. Bush. Try not to cry.

So I've got absolutely nothing done this weekend. Sorry. I'll try and do better next time.

I'm actually getting a little excited about the new novel/longer writing project. Not going to say much about it, but it's a little headier in construction than "All Things..." which also, coincidentally means it's going to be different in tone (I like Vernon's little universe, but I don't think I could live there much longer--at least not without a significant break).

Anyway, the new story is about two people mainly. A guy with a bag of groceries and a mess waiting for him in his bathroom and an old shortstop named Brooks Monte. At least that's how it's shaping up...

-Joe
One liners
Mom always used to say: If life gives you poop, make poop-juice...

--Bug-Eyed Earl

Photos

Fear the power of the Devil Pup

Items of interest
Compfused.com
wrap your arms around me (sensitive male mix)
Kari's Blog
Josh's Blog of Infinte Blinky Joy
He's here...