Welcome to Joe Mammy's Blog-o-Rama // Where ugly people come to have beautiful times...

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Heidy-ho!

Welcome to the part of the universe where I just go off and hope it sounds okay. It's like musical improvisation without music and free-form dance without the tights. Yes girls and gents, 'tis the Mammy-blog. Please keep your hands and arms inside the blog at all times and remember, please, please, no flash photography.

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Du sollten mit Kari sprechen über der Funk, baby.

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03/14/2004 - 03/20/2004 / 03/21/2004 - 03/27/2004 / 03/28/2004 - 04/03/2004 / 04/04/2004 - 04/10/2004 / 04/11/2004 - 04/17/2004 / 04/18/2004 - 04/24/2004 / 04/25/2004 - 05/01/2004 / 05/02/2004 - 05/08/2004 / 05/09/2004 - 05/15/2004 / 05/16/2004 - 05/22/2004 / 05/23/2004 - 05/29/2004 / 05/30/2004 - 06/05/2004 / 06/06/2004 - 06/12/2004 / 06/13/2004 - 06/19/2004 / 06/20/2004 - 06/26/2004 / 06/27/2004 - 07/03/2004 / 07/04/2004 - 07/10/2004 / 07/11/2004 - 07/17/2004 / 07/18/2004 - 07/24/2004 / 07/25/2004 - 07/31/2004 / 08/01/2004 - 08/07/2004 / 08/08/2004 - 08/14/2004 / 08/15/2004 - 08/21/2004 / 08/22/2004 - 08/28/2004 / 08/29/2004 - 09/04/2004 / 09/05/2004 - 09/11/2004 / 09/12/2004 - 09/18/2004 / 09/19/2004 - 09/25/2004 / 09/26/2004 - 10/02/2004 / 10/03/2004 - 10/09/2004 / 10/10/2004 - 10/16/2004 / 10/17/2004 - 10/23/2004 / 10/24/2004 - 10/30/2004 / 10/31/2004 - 11/06/2004 / 11/07/2004 - 11/13/2004 / 11/14/2004 - 11/20/2004 / 11/21/2004 - 11/27/2004 / 11/28/2004 - 12/04/2004 / 12/05/2004 - 12/11/2004 / 12/12/2004 - 12/18/2004 / 12/19/2004 - 12/25/2004 / 12/26/2004 - 01/01/2005 / 01/02/2005 - 01/08/2005 / 01/09/2005 - 01/15/2005 / 01/16/2005 - 01/22/2005 / 01/23/2005 - 01/29/2005 / 01/30/2005 - 02/05/2005 / 02/06/2005 - 02/12/2005 / 02/13/2005 - 02/19/2005 / 02/20/2005 - 02/26/2005 / 02/27/2005 - 03/05/2005 /

Weblog Entries:

Ah, what a glorious time of year it is. And what glorious people about us. And what big teeth they have, grandmother.

The better to floss with you, my dear...

Friday, December 24, 2004

Dragon the Enter:: Joe 3:24 AM

I haven't laughed this hard in months.

Instant classic.

-Joe


Thursday, December 23, 2004

In case of National Security Emergency, Joe-Mammy.com will be moved to an undisclosed location:: Joe 2:00 AM

You know, I can't make this stuff up even if I really tried.

First, I see the ad on tv telling me that my kids(!?!) need to know that I have a plan in case of a terrorist attack. Now warning children not to take candy from strangers, to look both ways before crossing the street or not to eat yellow snow is practical, hands-on and helpful information. Giving them steps to deal with an angry jihadist, well, not so much. So, I check out the governments website on the subject.

Now the site is pretty straightforward, uninspiring and dull--a good old fashioned government website. But at the bottom they feature a link to FEMA for Kids. What I found there will be a cornucopia of laughing material for years to come. Children are greeted by their host, a hermit crab (please, no laughing or knowing ironical nods until after the presentation is complete...) who invites the kiddies to check out, among other things states currently receiving disaster assistance, what to do in case of a national security emergency (terrorist attack) that included a couple of medicated looking children happily skipping their way through a story about terrorism (below), a rap done by what sounds like an office temp, and the Disaster Math game--combining fear of disaster and attack with the fear of academic failure.



What is wrong with people? Like developing Robbie and Julia the morphine twins is going to help kids understand the unexplainable? I'm sure they mean well but what do they hope to accomplish by explaining to children what a "dirty bomb" is? We might as well sit 'em down with a 1/5 of Jack, a pack of Marlboro Red's and a stack of porn and abolish childhood as soon as possible at this rate. It's funny and it's sad all at the same time. All we need now is to return the old "duck and cover" drills in public schools and we've pretty much regressed 50 years. Who still likes Ike? I know you're out there...

BTW, "Shaun of the Dead" kicks ass.

-Joe


Wednesday, December 22, 2004

OMGAIHASBJ...:: Joe 7:57 AM

Okay, I wasn't going to post, but I saw this and had to.

Either this dude is my hero or he's the guy that I hide the kids from. It could go either way.

Not too much here. Work on the novel continues... slowly.

Movies coming out of orifices I didn't know they had and I work all Christmas.

Yippe-Ki-Yay,

-Joe


Sunday, December 19, 2004

An afternoon with Ray.:: Joe 11:15 PM

Well it was a rare day here in Mammyland. I didn't get as much done this weekend as I had hoped, but I did get a chance to have a good sit down face-to-face with one Mr. Ray Mileur (look for his second interview coming sometime after the New Year...) which was quite cool.

It was one of those rare instances where something comes together quite nicely. I'd found Ray's site, the Birdhouse while looking for information on the Cardinals and after an interview and few letters, they asked me if I wanted to write for them (or they didn't run away screaming when I volunteered. I don't remember exactly which it was...) and so starting in June I began plopping down little Mammygrams with regularity.

Well, lo and behold it turns out Ray has family in my corner of the tundra and, as things would go, he came to visit them over the weekend. So this afternoon and evening we got a chance to "meet" for the first time and talk about a whole range of stuff. Twas fun and nice. About time this season actually acted as such, IMO.

And holy crap, we landed Mark Mulder. How did I miss that?

No chance to work on tuneage so far and I'm not holding out much hope. Jan 1 is teetering, but we'll play it by ear. Got an intro to the novel done last night. Now all I have to do is write the rest...

-Joe



If your name is Christophe der Soul Stealer, then this entry isn't for you, but you can read it if you want...:: Joe 5:06 AM

Christmas came early for Joe.

Joe got a digital camera.

Tis kinda neat.

Here's where the magic happens:


Who's yer daddy?

-Joe
One liners
Mom always used to say: If life gives you poop, make poop-juice...

--Bug-Eyed Earl

Photos

Fear the power of the Devil Pup

Items of interest
Compfused.com
wrap your arms around me (sensitive male mix)
Kari's Blog
Josh's Blog of Infinte Blinky Joy
He's here...